Full Gluten T-shirt

The ultimate bio-hack for the unrepentant realist: Full Gluten. Extra Dairy. No Regrets. Attack every meal like Angus Young attacking the intro to Thunderstruck.

Wear this to the artisanal bistro and smile knowingly at the progressive couple two tables over as they nibble on their "ethically-sourced" parsley and pesca-pescatarian entrees. Remind them that gout is the King’s disease, and you’re clearly descended from royalty - not a focus group.

This isn't just a dietary choice; it's a refusal to participate in the "Optimization Olympics." In a world of oat-milk-latte-activism, bread is the original rebellion. High-carb, high-consequence, and 100% immune to your "lived experience" flowchart.

• Premium Soft Cotton: Built to handle a real sandwich.

• Classic Fit: Because vanity sizing is just another form of misinformation.

• Social Impact: Guaranteed to make a nutritionist sigh.