Woke Tears Water Bottle

Stay hydrated on the highest horse in the stable with Woke Tears, the artisanal hydration of choice for the professional victim who runs on High-Fructose Victimhood Syrup and thinks personal responsibility is a banned substance.

Perfect for long lecture-hikes to the comment section, emergency virtue-signal sips between outrage cycles, and refilling your stamina right before you “educate” someone for sport. Crack it open at your next mandatory DEI workshop, committee meeting, or group chat meltdown and savor those sustainably harvested Notes of Entitlement with a finish of absolute certainty.

When they ask what you’re drinking, just whisper “privilege” and watch the short-circuit. Warning: may trigger microaggressions in mirrors. Drink responsibly - or don’t; personal responsibility was banned on principle. Limited edition - because safe spaces are running dry, and who hasn’t thought, “Diversity means everyone thinking exactly like me!”